Yesterday was cleaning up puke today was scrubbing off poop. Life with a child and a dog keeps it real.
I decided to run with Zues at the reservoir today because I love it there. Zues came running out of the pines with a look of glee on his little face smeared in brown eew. Unfortunately people sometimes use the pines at the reservoir as a restroom. I spent most of the afternoon cleaning him off in the backyard - lovely day for it! He did look so cute and fuzzy afterward -I totally forgave him.
Bennett had a better transition this afternoon when I went to work. We met Sandy, Avy and "the Brad"(he is a bit of a roofing and skateboarding superhero) at the park after school - I was able to say goodbye and leave without much fuss. I believe she had an excellent time with them. When they dropped her off at home at 6 pm she then had a fit. She spent a good 45 minutes crying about the loss of playing with Avy.
How does anyone get over the "loss" in life?
Ruth C believes Bennett is using the time I have to leave her (at school or to go to work) and leaving Avy as time to work out loosing Momo- thus the crying fits. I think she is averaging 1 hour a day of crying.
I have a few buddhist books about dying and can understand the idea of letting go of our ideas of life and the grasp they have on us, but I have to say that dealing with the poop, the puke and the crying fits keeps me here in life. I do not have time to meditate thank God (whoever that is) even though I am in pain I cannot see another way through this so I must be on the same page as Bennett. Cry then go on and play or run.
We ran 2.5 miles-
Wow, an hour a day of crying seems conservative, considering. Again I have to say, I think Bennett is brilliant in her use of emotional resources, and in working things the way she needs to. I think you are brilliant, too, and would only wish you the best possible balance of crying and going on to play or run--and some resting. We're still here, and have to deal with our gloriously pooping and puking selves, hallelujah! (Although I hear it's a little much to deal with other people's....)
ReplyDeleteLots of love, and with thoughts of magnificent RuthvE,
RuthC
I don't know if we ever "get over" loss.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we "encompass" it?
I still long deeply for several of the people I've lost over decades, my parents in particular. Their absence still causes my heart to ache. But it's part of me. It's part of my life and world view, like the way a scar becomes part of the body.
Pat, you're amazing! Bennett is lucky you're her mom, just as much as she was lucky that Ruth was her momo.
Love, Jim
Thinking about you and sending love.
ReplyDeleteSending love and counting the days until I can be a full time Tanta this summer. Know that I am willing to help with the puke and the poop, too.
ReplyDeleteWe can't wait - hopefully not too much of the poop and puke this summer - more swimming and walking!
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