I have had a tough week. I can not seem to stay focused on anything and find myself wandering around. Usually jogging will snap me out of my fog but right now it seems to be just getting me out of the house.
Bennett is still saying she does not want to go to school and crying when I leave her there. I have been reassured by the teachers and the director that she is fine but it still feels so difficult and draining.
Marianna sent me another great email including letters she wrote to her family after her husband Dirk died. What I found incredible was all of her sentences made sense and she was writing correspondence to people soon after his death (I still can't even read some of the letters I have received). She is an amazingly strong and organized woman.
She inspired me to write my to do list today and to start filing all the paper work. I have also committed myself to moving my welding studio to a new arts building in Holyoke (I met with the directors yesterday). The link is http://gatewaycityarts.wordpress.com/. I am hoping this will spur me to work more on sculpture and just be around people!
Jellyfish from the Boston Aquarium trip that we did with Mary on the way to the airport.
I hope that sun comes out soon to help you burn off some of the fog.
ReplyDeletePlease post some time-lapse photos of setting up your new studio.
Lots of love.
PS I like the puppy idea...
It is wonderful that you are moving your welding studio and are thinking more about your sculpture. This will give you another home for your art - even as you work on finishing your studio at the house. My thoughts and love go with you this week as you and Bennett negotiate your separations. It is hard to let go when the world is filled with the constant shadow of "apartness." I'm so glad that the preschool teachers are tuned in to Bennett's needs and are helping with the transitions.
ReplyDeleteLove you lots!
Deb
Pat, it's not surprising that you both are walking around in shock. I'm glad you're running. I hope you can take it easy on yourself. Love, Julie
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you are moving forward with your studio. I think it will be some time before you feel like doing anything. You helped Ruth set goals for things to accomplish each day; you can do this for you and B. One day not long from now you will find the fog has lifted. The puppy idea is good because you are so good with dogs. B and the puppy can grow up together.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth S
"What I found incredible was all of her sentences made sense and she was writing correspondence to people soon after his death..."
ReplyDelete---You're pretty amazing to me as well, Pat. The fog and the wandering are not a surprise to me, but the courage, wisdom, poetry and clarity in this blog are.
Love, Jim