Thats what the guy at the new park in Holyoke said to me as I was jogging through to go to Scott's tower. They are re-doing the park. I guess it will be nice when its done though there seems to be a lot more fences and sidewalks up there now. I tried to be polite and ask if there was another way to get to the woods he said no!
The past few weeks have been a test of my authority and bureaucracy issues. I have had to go from one office to another to file death certificates, change bank accounts and somehow figure out Social Security. SS were the worst they just could not understand who I was. I had to explain several times that I was Bennett's mother - they were confused and said but Ruth was Bennett's mother and I would say yes - I am her other mother. There must be a children's book about this.
Finally we got it worked out and Bennett is receiving benefits(thank goodness) we can buy groceries! Social Security put a freeze on our other bank account as soon as they found out Ruth died. Our mortgage payment bounced. Hampshire just got around to hiring me last week even though I have been teaching there for two months already this semester so I should get paid at the end of the week. I could go on.
I am tired and all I want to do is cry. I was supposed to open the flameworking studio last weekend but when Amy called and said she would do it - Bennett and I did not get out of our jammies. I was also supposed to start moving equipment into a building in downtown Holyoke this week, but Lori said I could call her when I was ready.
"I am supposed to" is another phrase I have a hard time with - Ruth would say to me I have to let it go.
Thanks to all who have responded to this blog and the many people who have sent cards. I still cannot read them all but I will.
Hi Pat, my name is Janice and I grew up with Ruthie and Mary. I have been wondering how you and B have been doing. Hope that is too strange coming from someone you have never met. I am so glad Mary posted this link. I look forward to reading your entries and following your journey. I will keep you both in my thoughts. Janice
ReplyDeleteThanks Janice,
DeleteI hope you had a chance to see Ruth's blog- thats what has inspired me to do a blog. I go back to her blog and laugh and cry!
My mother's father kept a daily diary sometimes just talking about the weather. My sister died at 2 1/2 years old -3 months before I was born. His journal stopped the day she died and started again the day I was born. There was a lot of power in those simple entries. I hope someday Bennett will be able to look at these blogs and see her mothers and understand her own strength.
Okay, Pat... you're officially blowing me away as much as Ruth did in her blog. Love you. Jim
DeletePat, Christine found the link to your Blog. It meant so much to me to read Ruth's blog and I am thankful you are doing this and I love your goal you have set for yourself.
ReplyDeleteKaren
Hey Karen,
ReplyDeleteyou have always been an inspiration to me. Some day soon I will be running a road race with you and Christine - thank you Pat
Dear Pat,
ReplyDeleteThis sounds perfect! A run, an endorphin release, a change in perception. A goal, a distraction, a healing~ A time to reflect, to forge on!
You two aren't far from my thoughts,
Sending love,
Gail