I do believe this is therapy.
It was for Ruth -most every night she needed to post until she could not. Her sister Joanne posted her last post dictated somewhat by Ruth in St. Lucia. Ruth's lack of posting told me as much as the color of her that we were losing. I wanted to keep going. It was not possible.
I am still trying to understand this.
I barely ran 2 miles.
Some things we never understand. You just have to find a spot in your soul to house it. Once in a while, no matter how much time passes, it sneaks out and we have to look at it again. That's when we gather our children and look into their eyes and remember how important we are and that life is glorious and we must keep going. If we keep going it slides back into it's holding place and things become good and sunny again. Keep going ,Pat. There are sunny and beautiful things in life, they will come. Karen B
ReplyDeleteWhen you can't understand I guess that's when faith comes in. Have faith that life won't continue to be as painful as it is today. Have faith in all of us who love you and are here for you. Have faith that you will be strong when you need to be and have faith that you will run 3 miles next time.
ReplyDeletePat - you ran two miles - that's more than most of us. And you managed to do it while running an emotional marathon that's lasted almost two years.
ReplyDeleteI smile when I think of Joanne and Ruth negotiating about the title of her last post. Joanne thought that something like "Here we are in St Lucia" would be good, while Ruth wanted "What the fuck?" They compromised on "WTF?". Ruth was right - I've been asking myself that question continuously since her diagnosis.
Thinking of you lots - let's talk this weekend.
Mary
Hey Pat, I can't image how difficult this is, and uncharted. What was therapy for Ruth, may not be the same for you, though I know how much you want to hold on to this precious ritual you shared with her. You'll find what's best for you.
ReplyDeleteI know we're far away, but let us know how we can help. Would love to talk on the phone when you're up for it.
Love, Jim and Bob