 |
| i did not eat this squirrel (facebook food challenge) |
I found one under the bed the other day. I am not sure if there are more - the house smells a little sweet and sick - this reminds me of when Ruth was dying. I clean and clean and it is still there.
My mind is not well. Joanne (Ruth's sister) has been trying to make travel plans with me to a wedding this August and my fear and confusion have messed it up. She tried to create a vacation for B and I at her condo but I cannot stand the thought of being alone with B somewhere I do not know. When she offered this to me I just remembered being there with Ruth and all of the cousins I did not think about being there this summer - just me and B possibly Janna (who has to work and has so many responsibilities of her own) visiting in the evenings. I jumped at the opportunity to visit my memory now it just makes me sad.
The tickets were bought - I am such a pain asking to please back out.
This problem has consumed me for the past two days. This is why Ruth always made all of our travel plans - I was the hauler not the thinker. I just hope the van Erp's are not as bothered.
Zues and I ran 2.5 miles yesterday on Mnt Tom and I ran 3.5 miles today at the gym - I am trying to make the distance before 30 minutes but still have .10 miles to get under.
Pat, that is a disturbing photo. Toes is NOT helping. Glad to read you did not eat (?) this squirrel. I think squirrel is an ingredient in traditional Brunswick stew, but you'd probably want to catch a squirrel yourself, not use one that the cat dragged in.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that the trip issue has become so burdensome. Do what you need to do and I am sure Ruth's sisters will understand.
See you soon-Sandy
My dear Pat, you're barely two months past Ruth's death. It makes sense that your "mind is not well," as you put it, that you make mistakes, that your fears step up to protect you and Bennett.
ReplyDeleteI myself even feel a little like Toes here, feebly trying to help, aware that I'm probably fumbling in the process. But I know I don't want to make things more difficult for you in any way, and I'm sure that's true of everyone else, including Ruth's family.
Keep being true to your feelings and taking care of yourself and Bennett, and know that you have our love and support no matter what you feel you need to do in the moment.
Jim
Hi, Pat,
ReplyDeleteI will see you tomorrow, and, I just have to say: What Jim said.
Lots of love surrounding you and Bennett,
Ruth
Yes, it is understandable that things are confused now. You make good decisions for you and B. All of us who know you realize your courage and strength. You just have to go day by day. Toes is so petite to catch such a squirrel.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth S
Pat, Do what makes you and Bennett feel safe and happy. Everyone in your life wants the same for you. I'm sure Ruth's family is just as confused and sad. Some day you may want to go away with Bennett alone...today your not ready and that is OK. Love and Hogs, Karen B
ReplyDeleteThat is HUGS. But, who knows, maybe hogs would help?! Karen B
ReplyDeleteHogs are great and I will have to look for some!
ReplyDelete