I do wonder how much anxiety this creates for the kids - Bennett and Avy love each other without a doubt but struggle with fighting and jealousy.
Is competing a natural human condition? I feel like my friends compete with me or just do not tell me things they feel I do not want to know.
I remember as a child playing games by myself to avoid competing - something about competition always felt wrong. Would the world fall apart if everyone gave there all to each other not for a gain? Would you loose yourself or would you gain yourself?
I remember just wanting my friends at my birthday. I think adults worry more about birthday perfection than children do. They just want love and fun and you have no problem providing either. Competing as a parent is really about comparison. You and B are one of a kind; no comparisons needed.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth S
Children haven't had the raw emotions and impulses pounded out of them yet. I hate playing games because my brother was so competitive he used to punch me if I was winning. I think a certain amount of competition is part of our human nature. Survival of the fittest and all. As adults, many of us have learned how to mask or avoid our competitive impulses. I agree with you that aggressive competition can be disturbing and healthy competition can be character building. Even though it seems contentious I bet B and Avy are learning valuable life lessons about conflict and resolution. I still argue that all parents of young children should come to an agreement that they are changing the birthday party expectation and no longer putting themselves through stress and expense. Bring back the simple farm family party - the birthday kid's favorite meal, a few presents to unwrap and cake!(And one special friend or cousin thrown in for good measure).
ReplyDeleteMemories of my birthday parties are of my mom packing a picnic and taking a group of us to the park. We'd always have strawberry shortcake instead of birthday cake and my mom would fall asleep while she supposed to be supervising us. Those were the days!
ReplyDeleteCompetition helps you strive to be good at things that you care about but can be soul-destroying if you can't win or do very well. Maybe that's why I don't play sports?
I think that Gore Vidal's quote sums up the ugly truth about competition - "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies."
Mary xx
I remember being amazed at the coincidence of 8 balloons being hung from the kitchen light on my 8th birthday. Wow, the universe certainly had my back on that day...it was a miracle. How happy I was that my Grandfather came for cake. As simple as my childhood was, I became entangled in the birthday bash bonanza. I get exhausted looking at photos from my children's birthday parties. The thought of all that energy. Now, as young adults, all my children want is for all 5 of us to have dinner together. This is a gift to me. Karen B
ReplyDeleteLove concurs all! Love you & B. Dori
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